Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
