I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
