i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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