I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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