i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
