pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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