I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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