i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
