i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
