I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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