I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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