yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
