Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
