You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I love having hate sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
