If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I have peed in a lot of sinks
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
