I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
