SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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