oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
