i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
