I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
