they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
