Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
