I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
