He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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