why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
