just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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