we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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