I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Holy shit dude........stairs
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
