Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
