just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
