I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
