i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
