He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
