Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
