I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
