glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
