Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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