Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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