My sheets look like a crime scene.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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