insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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