i just google imaged poop.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
