dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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