i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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