I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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