Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize