we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
