I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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