just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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