There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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