She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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