Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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