That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Barsexuality is the new black.
the day after is always just damage control
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize