you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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