if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
