you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
