How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Randomize