apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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