you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
