I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
