Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
